A time for me?

“ This is your time to weep,
This is your time to mourn,
Not yet time to build up,
Just a time to tear down old walls.”

“Time love and Jesus seem to beat it’

“she’ll find out this is harder than taking medicine”

-A time for Yohe by Between the Trees.



We need our walls around us for our protection. My walls used to be there for all the wrong reasons. They were for me to hide behind and block out things that I deemed too hard to deal with. My walls were my ‘safe place’ but the devil was in there with me, and in reality all the walls were doing were further separating me from God.
Now that those walls are being torn down I’m left standing on a pile of rubble that once was my comfort spot. My temple has been attacked and I guess I still lack the strength to rebuild it, and I guess that that strength comes from a relationship with God… which has also been severely damaged… or maybe its just not time to build up new walls yet…
I’m not sure anymore. When I think I’m ready I never seem to get far and I have no idea what’s stopping me anymore, I know that this is no longer about the medicine I’m taking and the ‘professionals’ I’m seeing, this is so much more and so much harder than just taking medicine. I also know that I need three things to build up my walls again, this time the right kind of walls, the kind that keep God in and the devil out.
These three things are time, love and Jesus. I still struggle with the last two.